looking ahead...

I know some people who find the beginning of a new year to be a bit daunting, and I can’t say it is usually something I put too much thought into. I generally make half-hearted resolutions, almost always having to do with exercise, my fingernails, or a scale. But for some reason, I was really excited this time around for a new year. Maybe it’s because my mom was going to be with me in a foreign country for the first time ever, or maybe because while 2011 certainly wasn’t a bad year for me, it wasn’t what I’d call one of my favorites. I think resolutions can be a bit silly and I tend to not think too much about settings goals for an entire year, knowing that most likely I will last through about January (if I’m lucky). However, in the spirit of welcoming in the next 12 months, I’ve really thought about some changes I’d like to make in my life this year. Maybe I’ll stick to it, maybe I won’t. But I have enjoyed the thought process of looking back over the past year and then looking ahead to what I’d like to do a bit differently. In no particular order, this year I hope to:

*Learn about meditation. Growing up Southern Baptist, this word for some reason was pretty much synonymous with ‘new age’, which was pretty much synonymous with ‘evil’. However, I think a lot can be gained from spending time alone with your thoughts and focusing on breathing and tuning out the rest of the world for a few minutes. I know this is going to take some practice… the first time I actually tried meditating, I 1) couldn’t stop thinking about what I was going to eat for dinner, 2) peeked to see what was happening in my house, even though I was alone, about every 2 minutes, and 3) couldn’t sit in one position any longer than 3 minutes.
*Eat locally and naturally. I recently read In Defense of Food, and it really changed the way I view all of the foods that make up my diet. This year, I don’t want to focus so much on losing weight or maintaining a certain weight, but I want to really pay attention to what I’m putting into my body. Luckily, I live in a country where processed foods, although becoming more and more common, are certainly not the norm. It is much easier to purchase food that is organic and healthy than to purchase anything processed. The streets I walk every day are filled with trucks selling fruits from their farms, markets selling vegetables and meats that come from this province, and food that is organic without the label or the shocking price tag. Also, with the exception of one chain superstore and quite a few 7-Elevens, just about everything you can buy in Nakhon Phanom is sold by people from Nakhon Phanom, which means it directly suuports their families, not some large corporation hundreds or thousands of miles away. I really like that. I’m trying hard to only do my shopping at the mom and pop shops and stop my frequent trips to 7-Eleven, but slurpees and air conditioning sure it tough.
*Stop snoozing! I have a serious problem with snoozing in the mornings. Like, it isn’t uncommon to hit my snooze button for half an hour. This year, I get one snooze. That’s it. I mean, who really sleeps well when you are waking up every ten minutes anyways? Not me, but try telling that to my sleepy self at 7am.
*Enjoy this time of being somewhat alone and really far from home. This is probably the hardest thing for me. I have the greatest friends and family any girl could ask for, and sadly they are all on the other side of the world. I’m not too used to being without at least one person that I can always count on to go and have coffee with or go for a walk together or just go and share a meal. But this year, things are a little different. My dear WorldTeach friends are all gone, and while I really love this year’s group of volunteers, it is a bit different when you are the director. I’m trying to enjoy the quiet and take advantage of the time I have to myself, but I’m a people person and I miss the laughter and excitement of being with friends that know me so well. However, there is little I can do to change this situation, so for now I’m determined to make the most of not only Skype and the time I do have to talk with friends and family that I love back home, but also this time that is just for me- to sit and enjoy the quiet and time with my thoughts.
*Stay a bit disconnected. The iphone is quickly catching on in Thailand, even all the way up here in Nakhon Phanom. Despite the outrageous price, just about all of the Thai people I know have this phone. Every person I know in America has some form of a phone that keeps them connected to the Internet at all times, but me? My little Nokia brick phone’s greatest function is its color screen. When I was living in Houston last year, I was frequently laughed at for having a flip phone still, but it never bothered me. I like to keep my electronics separate, especially since I have a tendency to break anything that costs a lot of money. I like to have a camera, an ipod, a phone, and a laptop. I don’t need one device that does all of these things. That way, when I inevitably break one of them, I’ll still have the other things. Now, however, I’m starting to feel a bit of iPhone envy. I want one. Sometimes I can even convince myself that I need one. And then I have to remind myself that a) I break things often, and b) it really isn’t necessary to be able to post pictures immediately on facebook of something funny, and I really don’t need to have access to my email account every minute of the day. In fact, when I actually stop to think about it, I kind of enjoy being disconnected from the world at times. I like knowing that I can go to the river with just my ipod, and no one can bother me. No one needs to know where I am, and whatever someone might need can definitely wait until I am finished running or walking or whatever I’m doing on my own time. So this year, I hope to stay disconnected at least a bit. Luckily, this should be an easy one since I don’t make much money and certainly can’t afford any sort of fancy phone right now.
*See some new places. I live in an incredible part of the world, and I want to take advantage of every second I have here. I’m counting down the days (three months and some days) until I finally get a Cambodian stamp in my passport and see Angkor Wat with my great friend Valerie. And after that, who knows? The top of my list is a visit to Sumatra… I’m dying to see wild orangutans! Also at the top of my list? Mississippi! It may not be new, but it is certainly my favorite place in the world.

So, as you can see, 2012 should be quite the year for me. Who knows where I’ll end up or how much of this I’ll actually accomplish, but isn’t that what’s so great about a new year? Everything is fresh, and everything is possible.

*Stay tuned for a re-cap of the adventures with my mama throughout Thailand!

looking back....

I had a friend who posted a blog about the important things that happened in his life over the past year, and I thought it would be a good way to reflect on 2011 and to get excited about the new year (and a good way to catch up on a year with very few blog posts). I feel like I experienced more changes than normal in this past year, so it is nice to see where I was a year ago and where I am now. So without further ado… a look back at 2011:

In January, my sister Carly and her husband took me in since I was basically homeless, car-less, and jobless. Getting to live with my sister again (and actually getting along this time around, as opposed to our childhood for the most part) was just a part of the great deal: I got to live in an incredible part of Houston AND hang out with this little guy just about every single day.

In February, I started working at Banana Republic in Rice Village, where I met some of my very favorite people in Houston. I also accepted what I considered my dream job at the time, working with WorldTeach again as the field director for the Bangladesh program, but luckily it didn’t start until July so I got to spend a lot more time in Houston with my family.


In March, I started tutoring for an incredible international company in Houston. My students came from all over… Saudi Arabia, Brazil, Ukraine, Egypt.. and I loved every minute of living somewhat of an international life in my own country. I also got to celebrate Hutch’s 2nd birthday party in Austin with my family, something I missed out on the first year. And last but definitely not least, I also was asked to be the godmother of this little fella… one of my proudest titles!
In April, my life got turned upside down just a bit when I learned that after two months of planning everything towards moving to Bangladesh, it wasn’t meant to be and my dream job was mine no more. During this time I learned that God, as always, has bigger plans than I can ever make for myself. My ticket to Dhaka was cancelled, and a new one to Bangkok was purchased. After spending 6 months away from Thailand, I was offered and accepted the job of field director for the WorldTeach program in Nakhon Phanom, a city I love more than just about anywhere I’ve traveled, and working for a program that I’ve loved and been a part of since the beginning.

In May, I went to Mississippi to celebrate my grandmother’s 80th birthday! I love my grandparents to death, and it was really special to celebrate such a special day for my MeeMaw. I hope I look half as great as her when I'm 80! I spent a weekend celebrating my very best friend JoyBeth's upcoming wedding with the 6pack in Austin. It was a really great 3 days with some of my very favorite people in the world, and even more special since I knew I wouldn't be there for the wedding in October. I also left Houston and my sister’s family after living with them for 5 great months- I never thought I’d be so sad to leave a big city in Texas, but I think I cried halfway to Mississippi! I left behind a lot of great new friends, students I really cared about, and my family that I love more than I could ever put into words.
In June, I spent a great two weeks in Mississippi and packed up everything I owned from the only bedroom I really remember. My parents sold our house (I give myself total credit for this since I was the only one there during the new owner’s first visit), so I had to say goodbye to not only family, but also to my childhood home. On the 15th, I left Mississippi and spent a few days in Boston with great friends from my year with WorldTeach before finally flying over the North Pole and beginning another year in Thailand.




In July, I started my new job as field director and got to see so many old friends, students, and my Thai family after about 9 months away. Because work was a little slow this month, I got to travel to Chiang Mai with a friend and finally understood why everyone loves this city so much! I even got to have dinner with a friend from Yellowstone all the way in Thailand.



In August, I worked and started studying Thai (seriously studying this time around) with a wonderful teacher, Ajan Oa! I made lots of great new Thai friends in Nakhon Phanom and discovered even more things that I love about this city.

In September, the second WT group left Nakhon Phanom and I spent the month planning orientation with Heather, the wonderful assistant field director for the Thailand program. We also took a break and went to Koh Phi Phi for a little beach getaway! I also got my motorbike, Suzie the Suzuki!


In October, the new group of volunteers arrived! October was a blur of classes, trips around the province, and general mayhem. Somewhere in that month, I turned 27 (what!? How did that happen!?) AND adopted my sweet Thai puppy Naga! Two of my best friends in the world got married in Mississippi, so I have to say my heart was a bit broken this month to be so far from home and not at their weddings.


In November, things settled down a bit and we celebrated Thanksgiving with lots of food and friends here in Nakhon Phanom!


In December, I went to Koh Yao for a long weekend at the beginning of the month and celebrated Christmas! Best of all, I’m ending this month (and year) by meeting my mom in Bangkok to spend an entire week together in Thailand!

I certainly never would have predicted that I’d be where I am right now at the start of this year, but I am so thankful to be here in Nakhon Phanom once again.

Happy (almost) New Year! I hope it’s full of adventure and lots of happiness, love, and peace!

I’m thankful for…

(my 6th graders list of things they are thankful for...)

*The chance to spend another year in Nakhon Phanom. I love this sleepy little town in Northeast Thailand, and I consider myself so lucky to be able to call such a wonderful place home for a second year.
*Naga- my sweet Thai puppy who constantly entertains me, snuggles with me, and gives me lots of sweet kisses.

* A new home in NKP! I am living in a wonderful new house- complete with an oven, hot water, and an air conditioner! It doesn’t get much better than that in Thailand!

* My family- It would be impossible to put into words how much I miss my parents, my sisters, and my nieces and nephews, but it sure is nice to be able to talk with them regularly and see those sweet kiddos as they get bigger and bigger. I try on a regular basis to convince my sisters to send their kids to me to babysit for at least a month, but I’ve yet to be successful. I’m anxiously awaiting the next time I get to see sweet Hazel’s smile, squeeze Ryder’s chunky legs, and chase Hutch around the backyard.

*My Thai family- It has been great to come back and spend more time with this wonderful family that has taken such great care of me ever since I arrived two years ago. I love being a part of this sweet family, and I am sure my experience here in Thailand wouldn’t be nearly as special without them.

* My job- I have a group of 9 wonderful volunteers, and I love everything about being a part of this experience for them. I can only hope their year as a volunteer will be as memorable and exciting as mine was!

*My friends- Words cannot describe the awesomeness of my friends- I am convinced there is nothing in the world better than an old friend, and I’m lucky enough to have several of them.

Happy Thanksgiving from Thailand!

I'm here.. and I'm happy

Two weeks ago tonight I took the night bus from Bangkok to Nakhon Phanom… a trip I’ve taken many times, but I’m not sure I’ve ever been as excited to get to NKP as I was this night. My first trip here, over a year and a half ago, takes a very close second place, but I was a bundle of nerves and exhaustion that night after leaving my home for something so unfamiliar. This time around, however, the city lights of Bangkok and the bus TV blaring Thai and Korean pop songs didn’t faze me, and the green rice fields surrounding us as we got closer and closer to Nakhon Phanom just added to my excitement to get to a place I’ve grown to love so much. Two weeks later, I’m still amazed that I am actually back in NKP… if you’d asked me a mere two and a half months ago where I’d be right now, I’d have said I would be boarding a plane today headed to Chittagong, Bangladesh. If you’d asked me two months ago where I’d be right now, I would have probably burst into tears and just walked away, perhaps muttering an “I have no clue.” But despite all of that, here I am. Sitting in my new room in Nakhon Phanom, a week and a half after starting my new job as Field Director for the WorldTeach Thailand program. I’ve never believed more in the saying, ‘When one door closes, another one opens’ than I do right now. Yes, there are times that I still do not understand why the Bangladesh job was taken away from me, but right now, in this moment, I don’t want to be anywhere but Nakhon Phanom.

And in closing, a Bible verse that paints a perfect picture of this place I’m lucky enough to call home once again:

“You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness, O God our Savior, the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas, who formed the mountains by your power.. who stilled the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves… You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. The streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain… You drench its furrows and level its ridges; you soften it with showers and bless its crops. You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance… The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing.”
-Psalm 65:5-13

Here’s to another year in this wonderful land… may it be a year crowned with God’s bounty, a year in the meadows that shout for joy and sing.

back in bangkok!

Hi from Thailand! I can’t believe I’m writing from Bangkok, one of my favorite cities… but I’m back in my wonderful Thailand and extremely happy to be here! This might surprise you a little if you only read my blog, but to make a long story short my job was changed just a bit and instead of working in Bangladesh for the next year, I’m going to be the field director for the WorldTeach program in Nakhon Phanom. Lots of changes, but I can’t say enough how happy I am to be in Thailand for another year.

My job actually starts July 1st, so for now I’m hanging out in Bangkok with my Thai “sisters”, Nicky and Name, and waiting for a friend from my year of WT to meet me tomorrow. We have a little over a week before we have to make our way back to NKP, so our goal is to find a beach that isn’t being pounded by rain. I’ve missed the beaches of Thailand!

I’ve been a horrible blogger (have you missed me?) but the past few months were pretty busy for me… working at Banana Republic, tutoring international students, hanging out with my great friends and family, and of course, preparing to leave for Thailand. I spent almost all of my time back in the USA in Houston, living with my sister, Carly, her husband, Marc, and my sweet sweet little nephew, Ryder. To say I miss that little dude already would be a HUGE understatement! I also got to hang out with Lindsey, Jeremy, and Hutch a lot, especially since they were in Austin half the time I was home and then in Mississippi the second half! And then there’s Miss Hazel… I was lucky enough to be at the hospital when she was born right before New Year’s Eve. She’s still pretty tiny, especially compared to Hutch and Ryder, and she’s so sweet and laid back! Hutch and Ryder came to see me off at the airport, along with my sisters and parents, and it definitely made leaving harder than ever! Luckily, I can still keep in touch with them through Skype and pictures. Well, I’m off to practice my Thai with my new Rosetta Stone… I’ve realized in the short time I’ve been here how little I know/remember from last year. My cab driver insisted on talking to me just about the entire ride, and pretty much all I understood was that he’d been beaten up by a bunch of guys at some point. I only understood this much because of the scars he kept pointing out and the punching motions he kept making. Oh well… hopefully I will learn fast! Wish me luck!

Here are some pictures from my time back in America (in a totally random order).. enjoy!

Miss Hazel! How cute is she!?

I got to see Shelly and Amanda for a few days before they both left for Ecuador!

Hutch and me at the airport :(

Carly, Ryder, Hutch and I went to see Gran a few days before I left... I'm always happy to spend some time with her!

Hutch and Ryder with their cool new hats from Vietnam. Clearly this was taken right when I got home cause Ryder is so small!

I got to spend a weekend in Austin with the 6pack to celebrate JoyBeth's upcoming wedding!

My parent's sold our house! We've lived in Cobblestone for 20 years, so we were all a little sad when it sold, but happy for my parents and a new bigger house for when we are all home!

Another airport picture... my sisters and nephews!

my sweet Ryder!

MeeMaw turned 80 so we had a big birthday dinner for her in Jackson

ll

Well, I guess that's about all from here. I promise I will try and get better at posting regularly... we'll see how that goes! For now I'm off to enjoy the Thai heat while it isn't raining outside (and then I'll study Thai).. bye!

While I'm waiting for things to make sense again...

“You look around

It's staring back at you

Another wave of doubt

Will it pull you under

You wonder

What if I'm overtaken?

What if I never make it?

What if no one's there?

Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step

Into the unknown

You know that he won't let you go

So what are you waiting for?

What do you have to lose?

Your insecurities try to hold to you

You know you're made for more

So don't be afraid to move

Your faith is all It takes ”

-Britt Nicole

Do you ever feel like someone has taken your life, the life you have where everything seems just as it should be, and just totally shaken it up? That's probably the best way I can describe my life at the moment... or perhaps not even a shake, but a big, swift kick. Every part of me wants to scream, "Stop! Leave me the way I am... I'm perfectly content with where I'm headed." I know I have countless things to learn in life still, but I think one lesson that God will continue to have to teach me as long as I live is that despite the way things seem, He is in control of all of this. This huge mess that is my life at the moment may not make sense to me, but luckily I can be sure that it makes perfect sense to Him. I guess that's all that really matters in the end, right? Afterall, I can only imagine the chaos I would create if I was totally in control.

For some reason, when things aren't going so well for me, I tend to look for a little inspiration from Anne Lamott, one of my favorite authors. I'll leave you with her words of wisdom:

"I think joy and sweetness and affection are a spiritual path. We're here to know God, to love and serve God, and to be blown away by the beauty and miracle of nature. You just have to get rid of so much baggage to be light enough to dance, to sing, to play. You don't have time to carry grudges; you don't have time to cling to the need to be right."

I'm headed back..

... to South Asia! That's right. It's now official: at the beginning of July I'll be headed back to the land of rickshaws, crowds, and those famous not so wonderful smells. However, this time I'll be passing over that huge land I love known as India and landing instead in its tiny but crowded neighbor, Bangladesh.

After dreaming a thousand different dreams and imaging what my life would be like in a million different places and wondering what job would make me happy out of hundreds of different service related jobs... I'm proud to say that I've accepted a job working for an organization that I'm crazy about and a new, progressive university that I'm ecstatic to become a part of. So what exactly is this fabulous new job? Starting in July, I will be the new Field Director for the WorldTeach Bangladesh program.

WorldTeach is the non-profit orgranization that I worked for in Thailand, and over the year I spent as a part of this group, I grew to respect their vision for education in all parts of the world so much. I truly believe that education is the key to real change around the world and WorldTeach exemplifies this in everything that they do. What I love even more than this organization, however, is the partnership they have started with the Asian University for Women. I’ve been watching this university since it was first opened a few short years back and have always believed so much in its purpose and commitment to empowering women from all parts of Asia. AUW is a women’s university located in the large port city of Chittagong, Bangladesh and currently educates women from 12 different Asian countries. Some of these countries include Vietnam, Cambodia, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, India, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, and Bangladesh. Probably my favorite thing about AUW is that not only are they educating women in an area of the world where education is not commonly valued for my gender, but they are also committed to educating women from backgrounds of limited financial resources and educational backgrounds. AUW provides FULL scholarships for about 50% of the student body and provides a one year academy for students with inadequate English and educational skills in order to prepare them to be successful at the university level.

As Field Director, I will be responsible for maintaining the program on a daily basis in Bangladesh. I will work with the volunteers, the AUW staff, and the WorldTeach staff in an effort to make the program as successful as possible. I will handle things such as planning the volunteer orientation, maintaining the budget (er, any accountant friends out there? I may need ya soon), and overseeing volunteer placements. Along with the administrative duties, I will also be a part time teacher. I am not sure what this will entail, but I have to admit… this is what drew me to this position. I am SO excited to meet the incredible women who have left their families and everything familiar behind in order to gain an education. I have already begun to imagine my classes… women from so many different backgrounds, with so many different beliefs, all joined together by their desire to leave a mark in this world. I find it so amazing that in one classroom you can have Muslims from Pakistan working beside Hindus from India and Tamil and Sinhalese students studying side by side, despite their long history of violence and civil war. Simply put, AUW is an amazing university that I am so proud to soon become a part of.

Luckily, this position doesn’t start until July so I have a good four months to spend with my family and friends! I have no doubt that living in Bangladesh will be difficult… when I look back on my time in India I can’t help but remember the horrible smells, the poverty everywhere you look, and, of course, the crowds of people everywhere. But I also can’t help but remember how incredibly happy and free I felt. It’s hard to miss the look of joy on my face in just about every single picture I took while there, and that is something I look forward to experiencing once again. Most people don’t understand why in the world I want to pack my bags, again, and move so far away. Unfortunately, Bangladesh isn’t known for its stunning beaches or its smiles or its beautiful landscapes like that great country I left recently, but I truly believe in the purpose of this university and this WorldTeach program and cannot wait to become a part of it. I am 100% positive I’ve made the right decision for myself as far as a career and personal move, even if I am a bit scared of what the whole thing might entail. I look forward to continuing to blog up until I leave (I promise I will try to do better!) and especially as I take this huge step and once again pack up, cross the Pacific, and start my life in the People’s Republic of Bangladesh.

If you have the time and want to learn more about these two organzations, click here to learn more about WorldTeach and here to learn more about the Asian University for Women.